New Life

Haven't had a chance to post anything since August. Life has been on a fast forward pace since my last post. First I decided to move from a smaller apartment to a bigger one in the same complex. At first I was so excited to move into this much brighter (and bigger) place, but soon as the excitement faded, it became very remote how I managed to squeeze my life into such a dimmed tiny place so contently for two years. In fact I even had difficulty remember the layout of my old place. I guess that's just how adeptable we humanbeings are.

Then came parents visit. It was the first time I was visited by them as a grown up (have a job, live in my own place...), so I was excited yet nervous about it for the longest time, worrying about where to take them, how to impress them, this and that... but turned out it was very different from what I had expected. They didn't want to go to many places, and I didn't do a very good job "impressing" them. More like they came out to cook for me and doing housework for me and that was it. Looking back it was very nice to have parents come visit me. But during their visit, I was very puzzled with this new "dynamics" in our relationships. I am not sure I fully understand what parents want from a grown up kid. It felt like the relationship remained the same and yet certain expectations have changed.

Few weeks after parents left for Maryland to look after my newborn nephew, Paul finally moved to San Diego for good, along with his parents visiting us for about a month... Some people said I was very courageous to live with my future-in-law before our marriage. Indeed I was courageous, because not many people have lived with someone as "easygoing" as me. But maybe Paul is ultimately the courageous one, that he is officially stuck with me, at least for now.
But that one month came and went too. I had this weekend all to myself again, like all this masquerade was just a dream. In fact I had a dream of going to restaurants with Paul and his family this morning, you can't have anything more regular, yet when I woke up, the house was extremly quiet, and I found myself being here alone.

Maybe I'm being overly sentimental, but this new life I'm learning to get used to, can be just as temporary as the old life I used to have. In the end, we are all alone. I wish I have the courage and wisdom to treasure what I have now and do not get attached to it too much once it is gone.